Picking myself up

You will probably have noted it's been a while.

I am currently struggling with most parts of my life, and there is a serious lack of structure. Which is resulting in nothing being the most successfully(?) accomplished job. As in nothing is getting done.

Today I am going to attempt changing that. So I'll be sharing pics of the disaster area known as my desk and work area. And going to make a serious attempt at doing something about it.

Long time, no see

Well, I have been rather remiss about writing anything for a while. I have been in a mental state which hasn't really allowed me to write for any length of time, much less think thoughts which made sense when put together.

Things should be easing up now. Some of the issues which have been hindering me are more or less resolved. The main one being the fact that my aide was moving, and which meant I was going to have a new one, and all the uncertainties involved.

My aide of eight or so years has now left. She came to my home for the last time about a fortnight ago. This Friday my new and future aide will be coming for a short visit, just so we can get a feel for each other. Then her usual time for visiting will be Thursday mornings. This means my weekly schedule, such as I had been working on for a good while, will need changing.

My Thursdays are now probably going to be my busiest days. See, I have also managed to start going to choir again after a few years' break. And that is Thursday evenings. And the afternoons will be knit group meetings once that starts again.

On the other hand, this means that Tuesday is now an empty day. Which can be used for a whole multitude of things.

Now, Tuesday was the day when we got the veggie box. And I have to admit, it hasn't worked well for me. Or not as well as when it was Thursdays. Because it meant moving my meal planning day from sometime in the weekend to a few days into the week, so I could incorporate the contents. I need to figure out how I am going to solve that pickle. I might talk to the lady running the veggie box distribution about moving the day. One solution, the one involving not getting the box at all, is not going to be used. Because I can tell by the amount of veg I have eaten since the summer break (aka hardly any veg at all), that getting that box is a good help for me.

I seem to be improving on the fruit eating though. Or drinking. I have started making smoothies several mornings of the week now. So I'm not going totally without natural vitamins. And as I now finally have bought my second freezer I will be able to get loads of applesauce for consumption in innumerable ways added to my list.

Tomorrow is 1st September. The first day of a new month, the first day of a new season, and also the first day of a number of challenges I've signed up for or decided to do.

I have decided to do my own decluttering challenge. This involves me taking a picture in the morning of some small area, and then putting up a second picture of it in the evening. The goal is that the second picture should look much better. It doesn't have to be perfect, just better. If I do that every day (bar my birthday), I should have a tidier home at the end of the month. At least, that's what I'm banking on. If you want to keep tabs on that, I can be found at otteatthebackofbeyond there. I'll be using #Septemberdeclutteringchallenge2015.

I am also taking part in Miss Trenchcoat/Alexis Giostra's #CharmedDSLR photo challenge. I may well be doing it with both my new phone camera as well as my parents' old camera.

And then I want to see if I can finally get to grips with the ListersGottaList challenge. I have been trying - and failing - for several months. I think if September fails too, then it might be time for me to give up on that challenge entirely.

Now, all that remains to see is whether all these good intentions bring me towards Hell or someplace else.

♪♪ Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat ♫♪

No, don't panic! December hasn't snuck up from behind to surprise you!

Yet.

Chances are, it will do so later in the year.

But yesterday I reveled in the thought that it was exactly half a year to Christmas Eve. I am a total Christmas loon, so any excuse for making Christmas related activities is grabbed.

I have actually already started preparing for Christmas 2015. I have prepared and wrapped a Christmas advent parcel calendar for a friend. So come November, all I need to do is pop them into a package, write a note and get it sent. I also know exactly what I'm getting my dad for Christmas, which is a bit of a surprise, as he is always difficult. It will require some experimenting, some test running, and then I need to order the pieces and build. So I have an idea I will do well to start next month.

Because December has this funny habit of sneaking up on you. I mean, we all know December comes after November, but it always seems such a long way off. Until suddenly there it is, staring you in the face.

I am planning on making every 24th from here on into a Christmas prep day. Making notes, plans, lists. In the designated notebook I have. Starting that notebook has been a good thing for me. I started it several years ago, and one of the first things I did was start to note down how much gift wrapping paper I had. By the time I had added up to some 58 metres and still wasn't done, I made a mental note to not buy any more. And spent the next years avoiding all areas with gift paper so as not to be tempted. I have been successful at not buying any since. Using it up has been more iffy. So I have twice in the intervening years gone through and sorted out a few rolls which have been given away.

I should tally them up this year, but I still know not to buy. There's enough for many years to come, still.

I also discovered back then, that I shouldn't buy any Christmas cards. So ever since, I've been avoiding those areas. Unfortunately I have seen fit to start making a few of my own. And in spite of wanting to send off lots of Christmas cards, never got around to it. Last year I did break the writing block and got a good number off. I am hoping to improve on that run. I am still rather worried it will take a few years before the stash of cards is gone though.

What was successful last year was the amount of food and baking I got done. Both for Christmas Eve itself, but also in general. And the experimenting and creating of my own recipes. I didn't get to any final stage, but I finally got to try out ideas I've been harbouring for years, and had a lot of fun too.

Fancy joining me every 24th (or 25th) in doing small preparations for Christmas? The more, the merrier. You know where to find me. I'll be right here. Having fun. And getting organized. While singing about poultry putting on weight.

Organizing Otte: The Odyssey Continues

I have had a bit of an epiphany last night and today. I may have figured out some things I really need to keep in my future planner/calendar.

I have been watching even more videos on youtube, and I seem to be getting tired of some of them. At least the ones with copious mentions of "cute" and "us planner girls". I find myself wondering where all the blokes are. But there are still nuggets of gold to be found in the videos, so I keep at it.

I hadn't really understood why the week on a page or two pages seem so loved. I haven't been able to fathom why they should be necessary when you have your months and your days. Until I realized two things. One of these came upon me a few days ago, and is a consequence of realizing why I can't really work with the monthly pages with blocks set in rows and columns according to week and day.

I get confused when my eyes have to move back and forth along the page and also ignore the weeks above and below the current one. Having the month listed downwards makes it much easier for me to see where I am, and not get distracted and confused by the other weeks. And I will admit, this is the system I have used for years so that means I am used to it.

Once I got my head wrapped around the concept that my eyes and brains can see too much and get distracted, it was easy to see that having my days on a single page means less distractions. The empty space around on the page means less to take in. So while I could probably fit in all of my daily things on the week on two pages spread, there would be so much information vying for my attention, I would lose sight of the relevant things.

And then it struck me that I could use the weekly spread in a different way. I could use it proactively to set some goals and ambitions for the week, which would help me get closer to fulfilling my goals for the year. Currently the focus on the goals is more vague, and characterized by a stop and go motion. This way it would be possible (in theory, at least) to get more of a steady, constant flow.

I am already getting visions in my mind of how I would like them to be. Now I "only" need to get them onto paper. Which means fighting with Word on my computer. Thus far I have managed to create these pages.

I freely admit they are nothing spectacular, but I am rather proud of myself. They have not been easy for me. My computer skills will be undergoing a rather impressive improvement this summer and autumn. I am especially proud of the illustrations.

Some six or seven years ago I bought an old six-volume encyclopedia from the beginning of the 20th century. I wanted to use the illustrations and also some of the pages themselves for creative purposes. The volumes are typeset in Gothic. I still haven't had the peace of mind to do anything with them, but now I have started scanning them in, and then cleaning the images up. Both rather tedious jobs, but I am really looking forward to the end result. 

I am aware that I need to limit the use of illustrations in the inserts I make. But some of them will definitely find their way into my pages. And I will be building up a library of images to make some of those ideas I had years ago finally come into being. I think the winter will prove to be both constructive and creative. And part of my hoard is no longer just taking up space, but being a tool and inspiration. 

Organizing Otte: An Odyssey Into Getting Organized

During early April I wanted to try out bullet journalling inspired by some friends who were using it. I started using an old, tatty, small notebook which I'd been scribbling in earlier but not used up. I wonder if the notebook was too small, but whatever the reason, bullet journalling hasn't really struck a chord with me.

In my attempts to find out what bullet journals were all about, I had gone searching youtube for videos, and while snooping around them I stumbled upon planner videos involving all sorts of fancy planners, and started watching them.

Now, insert an image of a rabbit hole, and you'll get the picture.

I have been struggling with getting some form of structure to my life and everyday. I used to be pretty good at it. But events and circumstances have reduced me to sometimes feeling like a dead leaf which gets blown hither and yon by the wind.

One problem about trying to make plans has been a lousy sense of assessing how long stuff actually takes. Another the ever present perfectionism, though I seem to be better at controlling it. And the obstinate streak in me which rebels at any form of system or framework imposed upon me, even when I'm the one doing it. Another reason I have been failing at staying organized will become apparent when you see the pile of notebooks and pads I have been using through the past 10 or so years of my life trying to bring structure into my life.

It should be fairly obvious why it has impeded me more than it has helped. And that isn't even all the ones which have been used.

Since falling down the rabbit hole, I have been rather more efficient than is my wont, not to mention feeling okay about it. I focused on my calendar which is the spiral-bound book on the top of the pile, and on using it more in my daily life. And I started thinking more about what would and would not work for me, and what I actually wanted to keep tabs on.

I have come to some sort of acceptance, that because of my mental health issues, a certain amount of rigidity and routine is required in my life. It is finding the balance which is going to be the important part.

And instead of rushing out and buying a planner, I've been making do with what I have already, and experimenting a bit. This means I get to use up part of my hoarded stationary items (yeah, I have also been hoarding that sort of stuff). I have already been inspired in several ways to make my own hacks. So while this may be leading me into hoarding more stuff, it is also getting me using stuff I've already hoarded.

And because I still haven't found any inserts I really like, I have started playing around with Word and working on making my own. So far they have been very simple, and there's still a ways to go before I figure out what I really want, but I am gaining experience. I have also been working on making stickers. Planner stickers aren't a bit thing here, and the few I have found have been unappealing, not to mention irrelevant. So I want to make some which I like, and which will work for me and my needs.

 I made a video on youtube a month ago about my state, and will be doing a follow-up this weekend. Summing up what progress I've been making, and what seems to work (yes, I am happy to say there are things which are working). I have also been experimenting with some personal sized 6-ringed binders I discovered up in my attic. Expect more blog posts and videos on my odyssey into becoming a seriously organized cat.

My parents have been rather skeptical whenever I mentioned laying plans. They've come to associate it with emotional outbursts when plans failed. And that it would be better to do stuff, than sit and plan it. But they are changing their minds. They have seen that it does help me (especially when I keep it at a realistic level).

There is still a long way before I will have a full grip on things. But using a planner is proving to be a valuable tool for me on my road. So even though the bullet journalling system which was the reason I got into all this turned out not to be "my thing", it did bring about a lot of good.