Another Luddite bites the dust?

Some of you will already know that I am not the most forward of people. Technology is not necessarily evil, but it isn't necessarily good, either.  And some of you will be familiar with the fact that I don't have a mobile phone. I wouldn't know how to send a text message. And I have been almost proud of it.

I do have a mobile lying around. One my parents fobbed off on me when dad got a new one. It isn't in my name, and I only take it with me when I am going to the mainland for appointments on my own, or when going off to visit a friend. And it only gets used to say "I have arrived" and "I'll be taking this ferry; can you pick me up" and "I'm delayed". It gets fed some money and then I can phone. I don't even know how to feed it.

This is going to change.

First of all, there are perhaps a few things I need to explain about why I have been so anti-mobile phone.

To me, a mobile has meant a yuppie. Yes, those smart and fancy dudes during the nineties, who flashed their mobiles given half an opportunity to show off. I have never understood them. And I have not wanted to be mistaken for one. And I guess I missed the point in time when mobiles went from being yuppie status symbols to being a useful tool.

Mind you, it's not just the yuppies which have made me regard mobiles as loathsome objects. So have the people who will sit in the bus and phone somebody and inform them that they are on the bus. And not actually have anything else to say. Or the young women who need to discuss the latest activities in the bedroom (or elsewhere) and the qualities of their partner in a train compartment full of people (this has only been the women; I haven't ever overheard any guys do it). Or those who discuss confidential business matters in the rear of the bus in a loud voice.

Like all tools, a thing which can be used can also be abused. That doesn't mean the thing itself is bad. Likewise, it isn't all people who behave like bloody idiots when wielding their phones. This has taken some years to get into my head.

Another reason I haven't wanted one, is because somehow it is assumed everyone has one. And a number of services or functions are only open to people with a mobile. One which has been of hindrance to me has been the annoying issue of buying things over the internet (or more accurately, trying to buy) and being stymied by the final step involving typing in your phone number for a code to be messaged so you can verify it. And no option. I mean, youtube has this step for allowing users to upload videos longer than 15 minutes. But they also have the option of receiving a call with a code.

But the payment system couldn't even do that. They say it's for security measures. So if someone has stolen your card, it is inconceivable they might also have made off with your phone? Or just use a pre-paid phone?

This has annoyed me no end, both on my own behalf but also because there are people, many of them older, who don't have the needs, the money and/or the ability to use a mobile or computer. And so many things are being rigged up to only being accessible via a computer, and now increasingly via a mobile. And only a mobile. And that bugs me. It is still too early to solely go that way. I am among the first to have had contact with computers as a child, and that started when I was in my teens. To demand people several decades older than me to be fully functional is not cricket.

So, why am I now about to jump on the bandwagon?

Well, I am hoping to go to America sometime during the next few years. And I am hoping to go to London this autumn. And I know I can't take the mobile I'm borrowing with me, because it won't work abroad. And being able to call people while travelling is one of the good things a mobile allows. And will make life easier. And I will need time to get used to how it works.

Also, some of the places I like to frequent on the net make use of Instagram for some of their things, and I'd like to be able to join in. So, I am looking in to getting myself a phone. This will take some time, as I am a total newbie. But I will succeed.

And I know one of the questions I need answered is "can you text people on the other side of the world, and does it cost more than normal texting?" Because I may be able to get in touch with friends on a whole different level. And getting in touch with friends is good!

Organizing Otte: The Odyssey Continues

I have had a bit of an epiphany last night and today. I may have figured out some things I really need to keep in my future planner/calendar.

I have been watching even more videos on youtube, and I seem to be getting tired of some of them. At least the ones with copious mentions of "cute" and "us planner girls". I find myself wondering where all the blokes are. But there are still nuggets of gold to be found in the videos, so I keep at it.

I hadn't really understood why the week on a page or two pages seem so loved. I haven't been able to fathom why they should be necessary when you have your months and your days. Until I realized two things. One of these came upon me a few days ago, and is a consequence of realizing why I can't really work with the monthly pages with blocks set in rows and columns according to week and day.

I get confused when my eyes have to move back and forth along the page and also ignore the weeks above and below the current one. Having the month listed downwards makes it much easier for me to see where I am, and not get distracted and confused by the other weeks. And I will admit, this is the system I have used for years so that means I am used to it.

Once I got my head wrapped around the concept that my eyes and brains can see too much and get distracted, it was easy to see that having my days on a single page means less distractions. The empty space around on the page means less to take in. So while I could probably fit in all of my daily things on the week on two pages spread, there would be so much information vying for my attention, I would lose sight of the relevant things.

And then it struck me that I could use the weekly spread in a different way. I could use it proactively to set some goals and ambitions for the week, which would help me get closer to fulfilling my goals for the year. Currently the focus on the goals is more vague, and characterized by a stop and go motion. This way it would be possible (in theory, at least) to get more of a steady, constant flow.

I am already getting visions in my mind of how I would like them to be. Now I "only" need to get them onto paper. Which means fighting with Word on my computer. Thus far I have managed to create these pages.

I freely admit they are nothing spectacular, but I am rather proud of myself. They have not been easy for me. My computer skills will be undergoing a rather impressive improvement this summer and autumn. I am especially proud of the illustrations.

Some six or seven years ago I bought an old six-volume encyclopedia from the beginning of the 20th century. I wanted to use the illustrations and also some of the pages themselves for creative purposes. The volumes are typeset in Gothic. I still haven't had the peace of mind to do anything with them, but now I have started scanning them in, and then cleaning the images up. Both rather tedious jobs, but I am really looking forward to the end result. 

I am aware that I need to limit the use of illustrations in the inserts I make. But some of them will definitely find their way into my pages. And I will be building up a library of images to make some of those ideas I had years ago finally come into being. I think the winter will prove to be both constructive and creative. And part of my hoard is no longer just taking up space, but being a tool and inspiration. 

Hooray for builders ...?

Or not, as it were.

I have had renovations to the house two summers running. I had hoped this year would be a peaceful one, without people working on this or that. Well, that isn't going to be. The stable outer walls are not in the best of nick, and I did know they would have to get done soon. Just not this soon.

The bricklayer came by yesterday to have a look. He will be working on an estimate for me, which I hope to have next week. Next week the carpenter will be coming around to look at the doors and windows which need replacing. Then we have to wait for his estimate, before we get a good idea of just what this will add up to.

This all means that I will be having to adjust some of the plans and goals for 2015. Because regardless of how cheap or expensive it will be, and of when they will actually be working here, it is going to sap some of my strength and energy. I know.

At least I don't have to worry massively about the financial aspect. My parents can afford to lend me the money. Even though I hate the fact it is necessary.

My dehoarding focus will probably shift from solely house to include the stable area too. Because that has also been stuffed with all sorts of stuff. If I try to look at this whole thing as positively as possible, this means I will be improving my options for using my stable. I had lots of ideas what I was going to do in that space; practically nothing has been accomplished. Because everywhere is stuffed with things, and there's no space to actually work, and walking about can be tricky.

Some of the dehoarding inside has already had the effect of me being able to access some of my stuff, and have room to start using it. This makes me hopeful that the stable could end up being used more - or at least better - if stuff gets culled. In fact we already did get three boxes of old newspapers out today. Yeah, there's old newspapers in the stable. They were meant to be used as a cheap version of weed sheets. They have been in there for four or five years. Perhaps even longer. They are going to get recycled now. With the repair work going on, and changes to my goals and expectations for this year, they wouldn't be used this year anyway.

I am still not entirely happy that this is going to be happening this summer. But it can't be helped. I am just going to have to grin and bear it, and look for the silver lining.

Organizing Otte: An Odyssey Into Getting Organized

During early April I wanted to try out bullet journalling inspired by some friends who were using it. I started using an old, tatty, small notebook which I'd been scribbling in earlier but not used up. I wonder if the notebook was too small, but whatever the reason, bullet journalling hasn't really struck a chord with me.

In my attempts to find out what bullet journals were all about, I had gone searching youtube for videos, and while snooping around them I stumbled upon planner videos involving all sorts of fancy planners, and started watching them.

Now, insert an image of a rabbit hole, and you'll get the picture.

I have been struggling with getting some form of structure to my life and everyday. I used to be pretty good at it. But events and circumstances have reduced me to sometimes feeling like a dead leaf which gets blown hither and yon by the wind.

One problem about trying to make plans has been a lousy sense of assessing how long stuff actually takes. Another the ever present perfectionism, though I seem to be better at controlling it. And the obstinate streak in me which rebels at any form of system or framework imposed upon me, even when I'm the one doing it. Another reason I have been failing at staying organized will become apparent when you see the pile of notebooks and pads I have been using through the past 10 or so years of my life trying to bring structure into my life.

It should be fairly obvious why it has impeded me more than it has helped. And that isn't even all the ones which have been used.

Since falling down the rabbit hole, I have been rather more efficient than is my wont, not to mention feeling okay about it. I focused on my calendar which is the spiral-bound book on the top of the pile, and on using it more in my daily life. And I started thinking more about what would and would not work for me, and what I actually wanted to keep tabs on.

I have come to some sort of acceptance, that because of my mental health issues, a certain amount of rigidity and routine is required in my life. It is finding the balance which is going to be the important part.

And instead of rushing out and buying a planner, I've been making do with what I have already, and experimenting a bit. This means I get to use up part of my hoarded stationary items (yeah, I have also been hoarding that sort of stuff). I have already been inspired in several ways to make my own hacks. So while this may be leading me into hoarding more stuff, it is also getting me using stuff I've already hoarded.

And because I still haven't found any inserts I really like, I have started playing around with Word and working on making my own. So far they have been very simple, and there's still a ways to go before I figure out what I really want, but I am gaining experience. I have also been working on making stickers. Planner stickers aren't a bit thing here, and the few I have found have been unappealing, not to mention irrelevant. So I want to make some which I like, and which will work for me and my needs.

 I made a video on youtube a month ago about my state, and will be doing a follow-up this weekend. Summing up what progress I've been making, and what seems to work (yes, I am happy to say there are things which are working). I have also been experimenting with some personal sized 6-ringed binders I discovered up in my attic. Expect more blog posts and videos on my odyssey into becoming a seriously organized cat.

My parents have been rather skeptical whenever I mentioned laying plans. They've come to associate it with emotional outbursts when plans failed. And that it would be better to do stuff, than sit and plan it. But they are changing their minds. They have seen that it does help me (especially when I keep it at a realistic level).

There is still a long way before I will have a full grip on things. But using a planner is proving to be a valuable tool for me on my road. So even though the bullet journalling system which was the reason I got into all this turned out not to be "my thing", it did bring about a lot of good.

The post that didn't appear

You may have noticed I didn't post this Tuesday. This is the sort of thing which can happen. I had planned to do my usual "What's in my fridge?" post, and for obvious reasons, well, that has to be done on the same day.

And I did start. And I took a pic. And then technology started breaking down. And then my head fell apart. And the rest of the day was more or less just geared at getting through, keeping myself fed, and just rest, rest, rest.

It is a fact of life that I can start out a day doing fine, and then suddenly it just disintegrates, and being able to string two thoughts together and making sense of them is but a dream. Sometimes there is a trigger, but there doesn't have to be. Yesterday the trigger was camera troubles. I did get them sorted out at the end of the day, but I decided that if this blog is to really give a tangible impression of how my life goes, well, sometimes I won't be posting even if it is scheduled. And I am not going to be ashamed about it. Sad, yes, disappointed, maybe. Ashamed, no.

This has made it clearer to me how important it is to keep a schedule of my blogging, and to try to write a bit every day. This isn't bad, in fact it may be beneficial to me to get the routine in. And having a few finished posts ready so I can use a back-up plan on future days of brain malfunction. Because there will be more. I know it. At least they aren't as frequent as they used to be, nor always as bad.

There are three valuable lessons I learned from what happened Tuesday.

First: planning my blog ahead, and building up a buffer or reserve of posts. It strikes me this isn't merely practical for building a frame/routine for myself, nor for making it possible to post something even on bad days. It would also be helpful for when I plan on going on holiday. And in June and July there will be a need for that. Especially in July when I will be out of internet reach.

Second: I am learning more about technological appliances and computers. I may not always understand how and why, but from believing I had wasted money on a new type of memory card which was useless, I was able to think "What happens if I do X?", and then slowly experiment my way into being able to access the pictures and videos on the card. Even though I am still very much a novice at all this, I am building up a sense of accomplishment and confidence.

Third: Sitting down with one of my colouring books and a box of colour pencils and getting on with them, while either watching a documentary or film or listening to music helps to calm my head, and slowly get it to settle down and start being functional again. I actually knew this already, but it was good to be reminded of it. I need to remember it for the future. It won't cure me, and I might not be able to do anything mentally demanding the rest of the day, but it helps soothe me.

So the post that didn't appear instead spent itself in teaching me a few things. Not bad. And if this helps you see some hidden treasure in your life, better.